My heart is so full ...

My heart is so full. 

Full of ache for the world and those that suffer

The ones I notice and can't help, 

the ones I see hurting and can't reach, 

the ones just out of sight I've not yet approached.

Full of memories long past 

that sting like a cold breeze on your face in the early morning. 

They take the breath away as your transported back to that moment,

drowning in the torment and gasping for the heavens.

Full of questions

How is all this pain possible? 

Why are we not helping each other?

Aren't we all in this together? 

As I sit and notice, as I sit and feel

I'm also reminded of the other side 

My heart is so full 

Full of love for the inhabitants of the world

The ones that find laughter in the sorrow, 

the ones that see joy in whatever they are given,

and the ones that keep going when all hope seems lost.

Full of gratitude for the memories 

That heal your heart like a hug when you're on the verge of tears

Reminding you of the little joys, the little triumphs, 

all the things that really make life worth living. 

We don't yet have all the answers and we may never 

but that doesn't mean we shouldn't question.

We should try harder to release the pain and bring out the joy

in ourselves, in others, in our world. 

Finally a bit about Spain and some other stuff too ...

So we've been back now for just over a month now. Silly how times get a way from you as I was planning on writing this much sooner.  Oh well, things always happen and maybe my delay was for the best. My partner, Pit, and I had three weeks exploring parts of Spain and bits of Portugal.

Spain, a place I've always wanted to visit, was everything I expected and more. It wrapped me up in it's colorful art, it's pulsating cities and it's depth of history. Just thinking about the wine, the tapas, and the espresso makes me salivate like Pavlov's dog. I've been dreaming of Iberíco Jamón since. The old churches, some built as early as the 11th century, standing tall, adorned with beautifully intricate stained glass were still being used as houses of worship. The inner streets, not built for cars but pedestrians, lined with shops and restaurants were filled with people outside enjoying themselves. The streets still manage to get an occasional taxi come through but they bared the scars of tight turns and hard corners. Every place we visited was different but similar. Barcelona in the northeast felt the most touristy to me but that probably had something to do with the fact that we stayed off the Rambla, close to the Raval neighborhood. Lots of markets and outdoor spaces to explore, as well as museums and churches. Antoni Gaudí's art was a highlight for me in Barcelona. His architectural achievements throughout his life brighten my soul. Seville in the southwest was probably my favorite city. It was old, the weather was hot and it reminded me of our time spent in Morocco a few years ago. I loved the orange trees and their fragrance, the horse carriages that would take you around the park for a small fee, and the tapas bars that lines the open, outdoor squares. Seville has a rich history filled with religious controversy between Christians and Muslims and it was evident in the architecture, but I guess all of Spain does. Madrid right in the middle and the capitol of Spain was surprisingly wonderful. We stayed in a small apartment through Airbnb and fell in love with the neighborhood. We had little time to explore as our trip was coming to an end at this point in the journey but we were able to visit a few museums and find the best Mexican taqueria.

I should back up a bit because we got to spend a week in Portugal with friends before ending our trip in Madrid. It was a small surfer town called Aljezur. It was beautiful, the coast of Portugal. We had moments filled with the laughter, and dancing, of friends, lots of great home cooked food from local markets and quite periods of reflection. I've never felt more alive than while traveling. It was great to share a part of this journey with friends, new and old. If you don't have travel buddies, I highly recommend it. Travel, of any kind, is life changing but it can also kick your butt even with the love of your life by your side. With friends, the mood changes and the small nuances somehow turn into an adventure, usually including alcohol. Not to say you should always travel with friends and some you probably shouldn't travel with but it is a special kind of friend when you can partake in a journey together. We spent many moments on Cappuccino beach, that's what we're calling it, watching the waves, drinking coffee, and contemplating life. We explored our surroundings and enjoyed each others company. The week went by too fast but the good parts of life always do. We savored the moments and said our gratefuls around the table at dinner for there is always something to be thankful for.

So now, over a month later, we are getting back to our comforts and routines of living. Wonderful things like sleeping in your own bed and having your own pillows never feels as good as when I'm just getting home. The ability to have WiFi, everywhere and kind of always be connected is either pretty amazing or kinda scary. Who needs constant connection to the world wide web and what could we missing out on right in front of us? Owning a car and having the mobility it brings is a such an expensive luxury but I wish we walked more in this country as a mode of travel. Most people drive everywhere even when the opportunity to walk is present which effects the world and our health. I would sometimes jump in my car to go to the post office which is just a few blocks away more out of habit than necessity. Pit and I do live a ways from town but once there I make a point to park and walk. What would happen if we all were more conscious of how we drove our cars and thought about the effect walking more could have on our overall health. I'm grateful for it all; the moments of stress and discomfort, the moments that bring considerable joy and love, the moments that I'd rather forget and the ones I hope to hold onto for always...