What a blessing this all is ....

 I sit around and find that I know nothing. 

This life is so full of everything, in every form and illusion

waiting to be discovered and transformed,

broken down and torn apart,

rearranged from what came before. 

Life is fleeting

faster and faster as the world keeps turning

but here we are and there we go 

moment by moment

day by day

we pick and choose how it happens 

Death is not something that magically appears

but the ultimate end to the joys of living.

We can not escape it,

nor outrun it and pretend it all doesn't matter

I ponder, looking out my window, the point of it all

just to feel the overwhelming sense 

that there really isn't a point but a purpose

To love and be loved

to get real with all the nitty gritty bits 

and the pretty bits too

to feel everything, even the hard, tough, ugly stuff

to be thankful that you're still around to engage in the world 

to help make it a better place for those who can't themselves

and to just feel anything at all

is a blessing 

My tiny

I promise you I'm trying and I'll always put you first

It isn't always easy but we can't go in reverse

I told your dad I'd love you 

as if you were my own

our bond will just grow stronger

it'll never be outgrown

The world is what we make it,

 I hope you always do your best

 to spread love and kindness 

while remembering we are truly blessed 

To be upon this planet

in this life, this time, this space

The beauty that surrounds us 

we should hold fast and embrace

We all have something special

 that makes us each unique 

our mission is to find it 

and help others that also seek

I promise you I'm trying and I'll love you all my days

Becoming

I've got ideas that might go nowhere, 

but they do exist the same.

Thoughts that could stir some trouble, 

but I can't get them out of my brain.

Memories that comfortably haunt,

some that leave me feeling numb.

I've got dreams as big as the sky,

What would you do if you could become?  

I've got a notion things are distorted 

in fact, I know some things aren't even real.

We make up constitutions of beliefs and customs

 but we don't include everyone in on that deal.

This is not my idea of a dream,

but a long nights stay in someone's else sorrow

Hope can not save us from our nature of being beasts,

we need thoughtful actions to make real change, 

at the very very least. 

....

A special friend is priceless

After all these years we finally made it. We planned a vacation to Hawaii and took it. There was sunshine, many many beaches, relaxing, and no real big plans on the agenda for the week.

We've been friends for many years now, I think fifteen at the end of summer, but we've never really traveled together. I mean we've had overnights at each other's houses back in the day. Those were usually filled with alcohol and trouble though and it was always more about the breakfast the next day to defeat the mighty hangover. I moved away for a few years trying to find myself after my nasty divorce and we drifted apart. Those things happen in life but we never lost the love between us and once I returned home it was like I had never left. She let me move in when I needed a place to stay, 3 months pregnant, no questions asked. She was there for me when I lied to her about a boy. She helped me get a second job when I wasn't making enough money with one. She has been there for me through much grief and heartache too, always sending strength my way. I've made dumb choices, bad decisions, and hurt plenty of people in my past, including her but she never gave up. Even when she knew I was wrong and didn't agree she was still my friend. She spoke her mind but she didn't cut me out or drop my as a friend. Over the years we have gotten much closer. I think relationships are meant to evolve and change over time. You both end up teaching the other something useful that you didn't see or wasn't paying attention too. Its nice to be surrounded by like minded people but the ones that really make you grow and stretch are the ones that are slightly differ but love you all the same. 

We've had a few little weekend getaways since the kids were born but that was well, with her kids and usually for a special event or holiday, not just to get out of town or go on vacation. To be fair her kids are little, two and four years old, and travel with tiny people can be difficult. I'm looking forward to traveling with both of them in the future but so very glad we got to sneak away to paradise for a whole week of catching up, hanging out, and relaxing with each other. 

Thankful

Today I am so very thankful! 

Life is such a wild ride

filled with ups and downs and sometimes sideways

paths, choices, intersections  

Never knowing where it will take me 

but feeling like it is the only way

I move in the direction of 

happiness, love, joy  

I am learning

on so many levels

I am learning to be my best self

It's a not easy, hard to tackle process

but ...

I am surrounded by love

by beautiful, talented, creative, smart, 

kind, loving, funny, passionate, 

amazing women

and

I'm lucky to call them all friends.

 Diverse, bold, radical, intense women

All striving to make this place better

You know, the one we call home.

The community we build amongst the waves of living 

Home

I think I love you. 

The way the light cascades off your curves.

The ever so slow realization that you are here once again,

maybe altered but always present. 

The reflection of myself I see in you.

So deep & dark while remaining fluid & transparent.

Willing for more but pressing for nothing 

The way the trees dance in your breath

Subtle yet strong while grounded in the heavens.

Proving we should all be more flexible 

The cycles of seasons, the movement of life

the diversity that prevails.

Your everyday existence acknowledges mine. 

I'm thankful for the chances you provide 

the blessings you bestow,

and the ability to know that

I truly do love you

Arrifana Beach, Portugal